It's Alive (& Kicking)!

So I've been feeling the baby move for quite awhile now, starting around 13 weeks I think (going on 23 now). The other day she got hiccups (or was beating out a rhythm on my organs), which was kinda weird and funny.

Today while sitting at the computer I had one hand on my belly and felt her kick especially hard and saw my hand move in my perephial vision so I pulled up my top and this time I SAW her kick... or at least the bulging of my stomach in reaction to it. Super cool, but also kinda creepy. Another "is this pregnancy or a scene from Aliens" moment. This has been a owner occcupied only body for 35 years, it's kinda weird to have another being sharing it with me now.

We're headed to Barra de Navidad Mexico Wednesday through the weekend for a babymoon/birthday party. Will be nice to catch up on some of the sun I missed while stuck on the couch this summer being sick. Haven't spent much time there since I a) grew up in southern California which is not hugely different in parts from Mexico, and b) can't stand most Mexican food. I'm glad that I have the excuse of being pregnant to be picky about food at least, otherwise I'd be eating a heck of a lot of quesadillas!

Met with a couple of doulas today. I like the idea of having someone who is there just to take care of me (and Brooke) while the midwife is focused more on the baby. She'd be here at the house with us when labor begins all the way through the whole ordeal helping to keep me focused, calm, and as pain free as possible (hah!). One can always hope.

I am totally full from an awesome seared ahi tuna wasabi salad... but I can't stop thinking about the giant ripe pomegranates down in the kitchen. Mmmmmm....

Congratulations! It's a.... Freak!

How about breast feeding this one?!!?

So, we had our second trimester ultrasound on November 1st, and aside from checking the regular stuff (heart, lung, size, weight development), we also got to check out Spawn's junk... or in our case, the lack thereof. If you can't tell by the demon baby all dressed in pink in the photo, it turns out Spawn is a girl! It's funny, we were hoping for a boy, but both felt that it was a girl. Bring on the pink... ugh.

We were hoping for a boy because we both find that boy type toys are more fun to play with, however I had "boy" type toys growing up, so perhaps that will work for our daughter too. No Barbie dolls for me, I preferred my microscope, erector set, Leggos and climbing trees. I did however like to play dress up and "make over" (not hard to believe for everyone who's ever met me I suppose) so I wasn't a total tomboy. One of the neighbor girls I used to practice on was in Playboy (the brunette), which I take total credit for, even if the last time I saw her she was six and we had to use tennis balls to fill out her bathing suit.

I also HATE the color pink. I hate the image it represents, a girly girl, all demure and subservient, princess like and helpless, just sitting around doing her nails and hair and waiting for a man to come and rescue her from herself. A girl who wears pink wouldn't be thought to know how to change her own tire or carry a Swiss Army knife or know how to use a compound miter saw. I know this is just a stereotype, but images can have power, and how we present ourselves to others colors their perception of us and how they treat us, and in return how we think of ourselves.

Why does it seem that most baby related stuff is either pink or blue? I mean everything... from bottles, to pads you kneel on by the tub to bathe them, to bedding, even little tickers you can post on your website to do a countdown to "Eviction Day" are themed either blue or pink with icons of teddy bears, balloons, flowers or a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 cal magnum revolver (ha! Kidding about the last one... I hope). What's wrong with earth tones?!!? Is it really so important to impose a rigid gender identity on your child before it's even born?

I have found more neutral toned baby items than I thought I would. I was afraid I'd be relegated to either pink/blue pastels or neon bright primary colors unless we shopped in expensive European stores. Even BabiesRUs had some things that didn't make me cringe at the thought of having in my home (of course I'm not talking about the children who were running amok through the store like it was a Chuck E Cheese during free double shot espresso hour). I actually rather like this Zen collection and hope it's not crap that just looks good.

So, now I have to get used to the idea of having a girl. I hear they're easier on the house and such in the beginning at least, but of course make up for that when they're teens. I was a rather stubborn pain in the ass as a kid, but at least I didn't do drugs or drink (much) or get tattoos or the like. Brooke, of course, was an angel and left all the rebelling to his older brother. We'll see who our daughter turns out more like. She'll still grow up knowing some basic car maintenance, how to use power tools, get chocolate out of a cashmere sweater, the proper way to address a thank-you card, ballroom dancing, and basic self defense moves.

I don't really get people who don't want to know the gender. Especially first time ones. I figure that parenthood provides enough surprises that we'll take all the advantages we can get! Besides, it makes it a lot easier to bond with the kick-boxer in my belly... I see other little girls and imagine my own, I can picture her in neat little dresses and start putting her nursery together in a slightly more girly fashion, as in French influence over Italian if it was a boy. I've already started collecting hats. :-)

By the way, no, we haven't decided on a name. Most likely Dee for the middle name, that's my middle name and my paternal Grandfather's middle name, whom I've never met as he died before I was born. Other than that... I like names that are flexible and not a pain in the ass to spell. Like Elizabeth... she can decide she's a Beth, or Lizzie, or Liz, or Liza when she gets older. I really dislike names like Jessyca or Sandi (not just because that last one is my ex MIL's name) because no one will ever spell it right, she'll never find her name on a hat at Disneyland or license plate for her bike, and I think it's just plain mean to brand your child with a name that says "I'm trying to be unique by spelling my name like a stripper would, but really I'm just a high-maintenance pain in the ass with unimaginative parents." Take this with several grains of salt, as I am aware that I have several friends with uniquely spelled names, and/or possibly children with the same affliction. I'm just really bad at remembering names and weird ones really throw me off, so this is how I've reasoned it's their fault and not mine. :-)

Oh, and the final bit of ultrasound news is that she apparently has not suffered from my lack of proper nutrition during the first few months, as she's in the 100th percentile for size right now. Average for this point is 12.5 ounces, and she's 16! That's only about a week ahead in growth, but still, not on track for a baby with a small head we were hoping for. Means we get another ultrasound in the third trimester to make sure she'll fit out the way nature intended, preferably without splitting me in two in the process. So far it's baby 2, us zero. I suppose we should get used to that!

One final serious note... her arms are a teeny, tiny bit short. Per whatever scale they use, normal is .90 and she's .88. Nothing to worry about or warrant further testing, but could possibly be an indicator of Down's. The odds are 1 in about 5,000, and nothing else (blood tests, heart, neck measurements, leg length, etc) indicates a problem. An amniocentesis would give us more info, but then the odds are 1 in 100 of miscarrying (a likely healthy baby) from it. Not worth the odds. So, for now we'll cross our fingers and hope it's just a weird mix of my Scottish/Irish genes and Brooke's Scandinavian ones. Hopefully she's got my Hodge chin and thick skull and Brooke's pretty jade green eyes to go along with her stumpy arms. Brooke has suggested changing her nick name from Spawn to T-Rex, but I told him that's totally inappropriate. T-Rex is a boy's name. Maybe we'll call her She-Rex instead. A bit nicer than "Stumpy," don't you think?

I Do Have a Filter, Really!

Just so you know, there really are some things that are too personal for me to share on here. Something happened the other day that was just so weird, funny, bizarre that I really did want to blog about it, but it was also rather personal and you wouldn't be able to look at me the same way again if I told you. So now you're just going to have to wonder... and I promise you, whatever you come up with won't be nearly as bizarre (and funny) as the truth.

Ahhh! I've Sprung a Leak!

File this post under the heading of "More Things They Don't Tell You About Being Pregnant, For Good Reason." For those of you squeamish about bodily things, or closely related to me, and/or a man, this will DEFINITELY be TMI for you. Escape now while you can.

3...2...1...

It turns out that when you're pregnant, you can and probably will spring a leak from pretty much every orifice possible, and even some that you didn't think were possible. I'll start at the top, and so that you can I can still make eye contact if and when we see each other again, I'll do my best to keep the details to a minimum.

Eyes, Crying- Yeah, this one isn't a shocker. Pregnant woman crying?!!? No! I've found that I'll get more teared up than usual at sappy things, or tragic news about a child, but so far no out and out sobbing sessions. Operative words being "so far." We'll see. I'm really hoping this is kept to a minimum, NOT a fan of hysterics. Yeah, I'm gonna LOVE having a toddler!

Nose, Running- You'd think it was training for a marathon. It runs ALL THE TIME. Part of nature's grand plan to keep pregnant women from getting sick is to constantly flush ALL the mucus membranes (Ladies, you know where this is going, and it's not good). I now carry around a hankie all the time and have turned into my Grandmother with wads of kleenex stuffed into all of my pockets (which kind of makes me smile, I miss her and wish she was here to meet her great grandchild). Thanks to my ever growing cleavage I can now stuff some in there too. Along with my wallet, car keys, and phone if need be. That's another post.

Mouth, Drooling- Seriously. Haven't experienced this one yet, possibly because food was the enemy until only a few weeks ago, but I understand this happens. Sexy. Bibs aren't just for babies any more!

Mouth, Belching- Like a truck driver. Often catches me by surprise. Good think our social life was pretty much nil when it was at its worst, I didn't look pregnant and couldn't use that as an excuse, I would have had to don a Harley tee and trucker hat instead. Also weird hiccups and sneezing. (Side note-felt the baby hiccuping for the first time yesterday. Kind of like kicking, but with rhythm. Either that or it was dancing. Neat.).

Mouth, Puking- That has been covered extensively in here already, but suffice to say it can happen at any time, for any reason what-so-ever.

Mouth, Bleeding- Thanks to a dramatically increased blood supply, my gums bleed like crazy every time I brush my teeth. I look like a rabid vampire when I'm done. More sexiness.

Body, Sweating- Hot flashes and night sweats abound. Suddenly piling on some extra weight around your core tends to make you a bit more warm than usual. So far not too bad, but having to sleep in a bra and wrapped around a body pillow isn't helping. Not my favorite way to work up a sweat in bed.

Boobs, Colostrum- The milk factory can start production early, although not in any real quantity. I have a cousin who started leaking around 16 weeks. Ugh. I got some pads just to be prepared because you know the first time I'll have to deal with this will be when I've just put on the last dress in my closet I can fit into on our way to the Nutcracker.

Butt, Farting- So far, so good here too. Again possibly because all I was eating for months was simple carbs. No difficult veggies or meat to process. I hear pregnant woman farts can be deadly though, what with all the weird combos of stuff we might ingest in our vastly compacted digestive system. Be warned.

Butt, Pooping- Ever see one of those reality birth shows where they tell the woman to bear down like she's having a bowel movement? What they don't tell you is that they often do. Right on the delivery table. Not a Kodak moment you're hoping for. Enemas are now not de rigueur in hospitals any more (neither is shaving, thank goodness. Who needs the extra discomfort of stubble down there afterward? Now a trim wouldn't be the worst thing, I don't know how you're supposed to manage the landscaping once you can't see it any more. Hey, if Demi can pull off the au naturel look, so can we!), <link NSFW!> so this is more common place. In watching some of the water birth videos on YouTube, in between the Yanni music, sage burning and gentle encouragements to push and breathe, it's not unusual to see a random turd floating around the birth pool. If they're on top of things, someone will have an aquarium net to fish it out. Not thrilled about this possibility, yet another reason why I'd prefer that my husband doesn't look down there after maybe a quick glimpse of the baby crowning. We are a closed bathroom door couple, some things need to remain a mystery. It keeps the romance alive.

Bajango, Everything- Peeing is probably the most annoying. When you have this extra weight sitting on and sometimes kicking your bladder, and your fluid retention is way up, you find you now have some surprising things in common with your Grandparents, namely the possibility of incontinence. Usually it could be just a bit here and there when sneezing or laughing too hard (if a pregnant woman says she laughed so hard she peed her pants, it's a) likely she means it literally, and b) doesn't necessarily mean it was that funny because it doesn't take much for that to happen sometimes). It can become problematic if you don't heed the call of nature (which seems to be about every hour, on the hour) when she starts to whisper in your ear, even though it's often hardly worth the trouble.

Side story- I recently (and surprisingly) bonded with a man at a party over the problem of what to do when you're puking your guts out and have to pee at the same time. Apparently having kidney stones produces some of the same symptoms as pregnancy (and is as close to the pain of childbirth for men I hear), namely lots of gut wrenching puking and loss of bladder control. There is nothing quite so miserable as being an otherwise healthy adult draped over the toilet and holding on for dear life while you throw up whatever is left in your stomach (or just dry-heaving, which is worse and more painful) while simultaneously being unable to stop peeing your pants with every up-chuck. Really makes you want your Mommy. Or one of those astronaut diapers.

Leukorrhea, Mucus Plug, and Lochia, Oh My!- This is a whole bunch of gross stuff that is Nature's way of protecting you from infection, letting you know it's probably long past time to start thinking about packing that bag for the hospital, and cleaning house once the baby has been evicted (Google them if you want more details). They're also three reasons why sex may be a big turn off for several months for women, and likely for men too if they knew about it. See my post "I Blame Men!" for some helpful info about this, namely AVOID ALWAYS BRAND PADS, THEY'RE EVIL AND MADE BY WOMEN HATING MEN. There's no other explanation.

Last But Not Least, Amniotic Fluid- Otherwise known as your "water breaking." Not always the big "drench the floor" dramatic puddle shown in movies, often just a leaking. Means it's definitely "Thundercats Go!!" time and you'd better already have a name picked out and your cell phone and camera fully charged. You should probably call your husband too at this point.

So now, doesn't pregnancy sound wonderful and beautiful and like a blessing that should be cherished every minute? I bet you just can't wait to experience all this for yourself (possibly again)! In truth, aside from the puking/peeing dilemma (which seems to be over for now), it's not been so bad. Once I started feeling the baby kicking and having a belly so that it actually looked like I was pregnant, it even started to become worth it. It's amazing what we can adapt and get used to. Now that I feel pregnant and not like I'm harboring some horrible parasite that could burst through my abdomen at any moment, I find that having to get up and pee three times a night and constantly sniffling are not so bad, especially considering it could be worse. I could still be puking.

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me This Was An Option?!!?

Aww, look! It's a... really creepy robot baby!

Just when you thought it couldn't get weirder... "Japanese researchers created a baby robot designed to simulate the behavior and development of a real infant in an effort to better understand how humans grow up.

Named Noby, short for "nine-month-old baby," it has 600 sensors across its body to feel touch, cameras and microphones fitted into its head for vision and hearing and is hooked up to a powerful computer.
"You can load your software into the robot, watch how it reacts to human actions and its surroundings and compare it with the behavior of real children," Kuniyoshi told AFP Tuesday. "Human beings learn and develop various functions in the process of growing up, but the exact mechanism is yet to be explained," it said."

Damn, if only I had know about this BEFORE we got pregnant!!! My in-laws are even in Japan and could probably even pick one up in some vending machine right next to one selling used school girl panties.

Kidding aside for a brief moment... I (in my admittedly limited knowledge of robot programming) fail to see how a robot baby will "simulate the behavior and development of a real infant in an effort to better understand how humans grow up." I mean, isn't it "garbage in, garbage out?" Don't the programmers have to already have a thorough understanding of the "behavior and development" of a real infant so that they can program this to act like one? Being a robot, isn't it impossible for it to actually "grow up?" Won't people treat it differently than a real baby, because face it, it's like some freakish love child of Chucky and an iMac, and therefor none of the data will have any real meaning at all?

It says it has microphones, but what about speakers so it can burst out crying at inconvenient times, food intake/storage and output areas so it can eat, poop, pee and upchuck non-stop, and thanks to the speakers, let you know when it needs to do any of that at maximum volume? Does it throw a fit for the latest Hello Kitty/Powder Puff Girls toy? Will it point to strangers and/or family members and say embarrassing things about them during a sudden silence in the room? Are some of the robot babies gay? Do its eyes glow red when it gets mad? Why does it look like even all the robot babies are boys? Will it swear in inappropriate situations? If it gets a virus, will you have to give up your opening night opera tickets and sit up all night with it singing obnoxious songs? These are serious, scientific questions that I think need to be answered!



Has ANYONE in Japan EVER watched a horror movie? Because you know this can't end well. I give it six months before they lose funding and wind up selling them to pedophiles as sex toys... and they develop AI and start taking over the world.

Robot Baby article link

OT- What is the deal with my dog?

Not directly pregnancy related, other than the fact that I'm pregnant and wondering about this... but why is it when I go to the bathroom, my dog wants to be in there with me? He will get up out of his comfy bed and follow me upstairs, curl up on the bath mat at my feet, and chill while I'm doing my business. Every time. Sometimes he even wants to get up in my lap. Is this just my weird dog or everyone's?

Why? I mean, it's not like I'm pooping bacon in there, and while it's nothing like a sani-can on a construction site in August in Louisiana, thanks to the "green" low-flush toilet (translation, very little water in the bowl) it's not always a rose garden either. A dog's sense of smell is some hundreds of times stronger than a human's, and I don't want to be in there with me sometimes, so why on earth does he?

He's perfectly content to stay in the other room while I'm sitting on the couch, putting on makeup, doing dishes, taking a bath... but I need to go, ahem, "drop some kids off at the pool" and he's all about it, sitting there keeping me company and cheering me on. Perhaps he's just fascinated by my ability to poop in the house, magically make it disappear AND not get in trouble for it?

Embracing the Belly

So getting pregnant has come at an interesting time for me. Right before I got pregnant I weighed the most I ever had and wasn't too happy about it. I went from under 110 about four years ago to 130 in June. On top of that I wasn't dancing anymore, my main form of exercise, so in addition to being heavier, I'd also lost a lot of muscle tone I was used to having.

This was the first time I'd had to deal with a weight issue in my  life. Usually because I was fairly active and ate reasonably, I'd go up and down a few pounds easily and never cared. I remember when I hit the 110 mark when I was 30 it was a big deal because I finally weighed enough to donate blood!

So, at first I thought it was kinda funny, this little "pooch" I had. Then, when I started to look less than great in some of my clothing, it wasn't so funny, and also wasn't so easy to lose either like it used to be. I got a little self conscious about it, made sure to suck in my gut during photos and the like. I also didn't like how out of shape I had become and how low my endurance was. I had to watch what I wore or risk being one of "those girls" I'd made fun of with the tight low rise jeans and high rise tops and a bakery item in between. Many might say it would serve me right, and I'd probably have to agree.


Then, thanks to the wonders of constant morning sickness and nausea, I lost 13 lbs. Yea! I was relatively skinny again! All those low rise jeans looked good on me again and my face was noticeably more slender. Of course the irony was that I was now too exhausted and sick to really care, plus I lacked the energy or interest in getting dressed up to go out and wear my skinny clothes again... pj's were the wardrobe of choice for me and they all had an elastic waist that didn't matter if I gained or lost 20 pounds.

Now, at 17 weeks pregnant, I've got a belly. Not a pooch or a gut, but a belly. My waist size is now equal to my bra size and I'm loving it! I've gone from hiding my stomach to highlighting it with form fitting tops and sweaters. I think it's just big and "basketball" shaped (round and out front instead of wide and all over) enough to be obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat. But you know, even if someone does mistake me for being fat, I don't care because I know the truth.

It's a very liberating feeling, wanting to show off something that I was hiding not too long ago. This new found love I've got for the changing shape of my body is comforting and I'm enjoying it. There are so many other things about being pregnant that I haven't enjoyed, and this has come as a nice surprise. It helps a lot that my husband also loves my belly and is constantly telling me how sexy he thinks I am. I'm also fairly confidant that I will lose all the weight once I give birth... eventually. I probably won't be as happy with the post baby body as I am with the pre, but I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I wish that all women could feel as happy and confident with their body as I do right now. Of course being slender and pregnant is different from being fat and not pregnant, but I still think it's an empowering experience and feeling to have.

I know I will look back on this post in a few short months when I'm waddling around the house trying to find a pair of shoes I can slip on because I can't reach my feet to tie anything, and finding things that will stretch over my much bigger belly will be a constant battle... and I will laugh, and it will make me pee my pants a little, and I'll have to heave my bulk off the couch to go to the bathroom. Until then, I'll enjoy it while I can.