Embracing the Belly

So getting pregnant has come at an interesting time for me. Right before I got pregnant I weighed the most I ever had and wasn't too happy about it. I went from under 110 about four years ago to 130 in June. On top of that I wasn't dancing anymore, my main form of exercise, so in addition to being heavier, I'd also lost a lot of muscle tone I was used to having.

This was the first time I'd had to deal with a weight issue in my  life. Usually because I was fairly active and ate reasonably, I'd go up and down a few pounds easily and never cared. I remember when I hit the 110 mark when I was 30 it was a big deal because I finally weighed enough to donate blood!

So, at first I thought it was kinda funny, this little "pooch" I had. Then, when I started to look less than great in some of my clothing, it wasn't so funny, and also wasn't so easy to lose either like it used to be. I got a little self conscious about it, made sure to suck in my gut during photos and the like. I also didn't like how out of shape I had become and how low my endurance was. I had to watch what I wore or risk being one of "those girls" I'd made fun of with the tight low rise jeans and high rise tops and a bakery item in between. Many might say it would serve me right, and I'd probably have to agree.


Then, thanks to the wonders of constant morning sickness and nausea, I lost 13 lbs. Yea! I was relatively skinny again! All those low rise jeans looked good on me again and my face was noticeably more slender. Of course the irony was that I was now too exhausted and sick to really care, plus I lacked the energy or interest in getting dressed up to go out and wear my skinny clothes again... pj's were the wardrobe of choice for me and they all had an elastic waist that didn't matter if I gained or lost 20 pounds.

Now, at 17 weeks pregnant, I've got a belly. Not a pooch or a gut, but a belly. My waist size is now equal to my bra size and I'm loving it! I've gone from hiding my stomach to highlighting it with form fitting tops and sweaters. I think it's just big and "basketball" shaped (round and out front instead of wide and all over) enough to be obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat. But you know, even if someone does mistake me for being fat, I don't care because I know the truth.

It's a very liberating feeling, wanting to show off something that I was hiding not too long ago. This new found love I've got for the changing shape of my body is comforting and I'm enjoying it. There are so many other things about being pregnant that I haven't enjoyed, and this has come as a nice surprise. It helps a lot that my husband also loves my belly and is constantly telling me how sexy he thinks I am. I'm also fairly confidant that I will lose all the weight once I give birth... eventually. I probably won't be as happy with the post baby body as I am with the pre, but I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I wish that all women could feel as happy and confident with their body as I do right now. Of course being slender and pregnant is different from being fat and not pregnant, but I still think it's an empowering experience and feeling to have.

I know I will look back on this post in a few short months when I'm waddling around the house trying to find a pair of shoes I can slip on because I can't reach my feet to tie anything, and finding things that will stretch over my much bigger belly will be a constant battle... and I will laugh, and it will make me pee my pants a little, and I'll have to heave my bulk off the couch to go to the bathroom. Until then, I'll enjoy it while I can.