How My Dog Made Me a Better Parent

So before I became pregnant, when I would make comparisons between being a dog owner and a parent, some of my friends with kids would blanch and claim that they weren’t at all the same. Now that I am now both a dog owner AND a parent, I can say with some degree of authority that they are, and I am in fact a better parent BECAUSE I first was a dog owner, and here’s why.

1. I Am More Patient.  I used to be rather impatient and had a low tolerance for things that didn’t happen when and how I wanted them too. Partly a maturity thing, partly because I was often either running late or a set of misplaced car keys away from being late and so anybody/thing who made me late(r) made me mad. Having a dog that peed and pooped when it was convenient for him and not necessarily for me made me realize I had to readjust my idea of a schedule (after a few unfortunate pooping incidents on my car seat). Didn’t mean I was on time for everything, but at least I had more tolerance for when I was late due to unforeseen pet related circumstances.  Now with a baby who naps, poops and wants to eat at various and sometimes unforeseen times, I know I have more patience for it now. I’m also slightly better at planning ahead as a result too.
2. My Gross-Out Tolerance is Higher. I had a dog who liked to eat pine cones. After hearing him crunching on a pine cone one day while he was keeping me company while I was cleaning out my garage, I went and pried open his mouth and fished it out. In looking at it I saw it had a tail and was in fact NOT a pine cone but a very flat mouse. It was then that I realized I could have a child and that pretty much nothing would be grosser than that as long as my child was smart enough to not eat dead rodents. Time may prove me wrong on this one but I’m hoping not.
3. I Am More Tolerant. Even though I knew my dog didn’t do things on purpose to piss me off, it sure seemed like it at times. I’ve learned to take the time to try and understand what motivated him to suddenly start peeing in the house after years of being house broken instead of just being pissed and punishing him. Almost every time his misbehavior has proven to be as a result of something I’ve done, left his dog door closed, forgotten to clean his pad. This had helped a lot with a daughter who has rarely slept more than four hours in a row since birth and can be quite cranky and inconsolable in the evenings. I’ve been frustrated and exasperated a few times, but only with the situation, not her. She’s doing her best and so am I.
4. I Am More Loving. My dog taught me what (nearly) unconditional love is. No matter how cranky, angry,  or pissy I was when I came home, he was there tail wagging ready to jump in my lap and cuddle. While I believe love should always have at least a few conditions (respect being one of them), he taught me how to love something even if it couldn’t always show you it loved you back the way you want it to. Like chocolate, and newborns.
5. I Am More Consistent. This is a big one. For every time you let the rules slide with a dog, you’ve got to reinforce them a couple dozen more times to make up for it. Also, everyone else in the house has to be on the same page as well or he will sense weakness and exploit it. I can very easily see how this will be the same with our daughter.
6. I’m a Better Judge of Character. This took me a few tries for the lesson to sink in but I finally learned to listen to him. If you don’t love my dog, you can’t love me is really all there is to it. He showed me how unreliable my ex was and that if I couldn’t depend on him to help me train a dog, there was no way I should have a child with him. He was also hugely enlightening about what a manipulative and controlling bitch my ex mother-in-law was and what a nightmare she would be with grandkids, but that’s another story. My husband and dog get along great, he respects my hubby as alpha, and my hubby supports my training decisions. This litmus test has worked well so far in determining how we parent together, which is quite well so far.
7. It’s Not Just About Me Anymore. While this is certainly true now, it was also true when I got a dog that needed a lot of one-on-one attention and an expected life span of 15 years or so. I couldn’t just leave for the weekend without making plans for him. I thought this would be harder than it has been to adjust to. I’ve been making my own schedule and doing pretty much what I wanted for a long time now and thought I would resent this loss of freedom. Having a dog helped me prepare for this and while it would be nice if I didn’t need a bouncy seat in the bathroom in order to go pee or take a shower, I’m OK with it.
8. Poop Won’t Kill You. After finding poop tracked all over, including my bed after my dog had a near terminal case of “Poop Foot,” and having to pick up fresh-from-the-butt-oven piles protected only by a thin layer of plastic bag, I’ve realized that while gross, poop won’t actually kill you. This knowledge comes in handy when changing some of the more explosive diapers, AKA a “shitkini” “poosplosion” and
   “the dreaded #3.” I may possibly wish for death (or at least a hazmat suit) once we start solid foods though.

So, in all, I’m a better person and a better parent because of my dog, and I’ll be forever grateful to him for that.