I Didn't Know I Had A Monster Inside Me!

These two shows seem to be about the same thing.

So I couldn't help but be amused by the proximity of these two shows on the TV line up. Both shows are about people finding out in usually surprising and unpleasant ways that they've had something growing inside them and living off of their body for awhile. The bottom one is usually about some disgusting worm found in some 3rd world jungle, the top one is a baby (or two), but while one is usually cuter than the other they're still kind of about the same thing.


I haven't seen the second one, but I have seen several episodes of the "I Didn't Know Sex Could Make You Pregnant!" show, because given my three month experience with the process, I'm fascinated that any one could NOT know they were pregnant until they saw a head sticking out of their bajango. To be fair, most of the women are larger frame (but not all fat), and have been told they were sterile for one reason or another or were on birth control. One was 45 and had her tubes tied. One was 57! Many had negative pregnancy tests. Most skipped their periods for one reason or another frequently. If you think about it, many pregnancy symptoms are experienced by everyone at some point or another (indigestion, heart burn, weight gain, back aches, moodiness) so it's not like those are treats reserved only for the knocked up.

However, some of them are just idiots. The woman who had heartburn, mood swings, cravings for PICKLES (I kid you not), 20lb weight gain, back aches, and (here's the kicker) STARTED LACTATING a few weeks before her "ovarian cyst" pain took her to the ER was just a moron. So was the woman whose Mom (an RN) took her blood pressure because she was all swollen looking and it was 190/114 (very high) and still refused to go to the doctor. Then her husband leaves for a business trip while she's having pain she associates with her ongoing ovarian cyst issue (that also supposedly made her sterile). It gets incredibly bad, she still doesn't call 911 or her Mom, even when she (yup, you guessed it) saw a head coming out of her bajango. Even after she delivers on the bathroom floor, she STILL doesn't call for help. She does call her husband the next day to tell him that she had a "surprise" for him when he got home. Two days later, he gets home, she shows him their baby, and he thinks she's gone bonkers and stolen it until she shows him the slaughter house scene in the bathroom. She STILL hasn't sought any medical help for her or her baby. She of course turns out to have preeclampsia (bp is now 210/140) and it's a miracle she didn't stroke out or have a heart attack as a result. I hope they can afford a nanny because that woman should never be responsible for a relatively nice house plant, let alone a baby.

Anyway, I guess the thing I take away from all of that is even though these women still drank, smoked, ate lots of crap, had rare meat, sushi, soft cheese, no prenatal care or vitamins... all of the babies turned out OK. So hopefully while I've been sitting here eating fruit and rice crackers and mac and cheese for weeks on end, our little spawn is still plugging merrily away in the growth process despite my inability to take vitamins and organic salads in by the pound.

I still wouldn't mind having a few less pregnancy symptoms in the mean time.