So, I think I'm going to be OK with the nitty gritty details of childbirth. Pain, while not a fan, the idea of it isn't freaking me out. Various people interacting with my bajanga for potentially many hours, OK, we're all adults here, do what you gotta do. Bodily fluids, waiting, exhaustion, frustration, false starts, painful endings... I'm trying to brace myself as much as is possible by someone who has never experienced such a thing.
One thing I'm a little paranoid about is the aftermath (and I'm not talking about our daughter here) and my husband seeing this and being scared away forever. Now he has no such worries, he's been trained as an EMT and stuff like that just doesn't bother him. It's just my issue I've focused on for some reason. A quote from Stewie on Family Guy about throwing a hot dog down a hallway comes to mind every time I think about it. Yeah, I've read all the stuff that says six weeks later things will be good as new(ish), but I've also seen several natural birthing videos where women aren't screaming and swearing like sailors as a giant baby emerges from an impossibly small opening and I don't really believe that either.
I'm OK with him watching the crowning, but after that it's eyes up here! It's like that saying about sausage... you may love sausage, but do you really want to see where it comes from? It might forever change the experience for you. Could you go the rest of your life without sausage? Would you still enjoy it the same? I dunno...
Anyway... I believe this little paranoia of mine is what inspired this dream the other night. There's no context aside from me seeing a black chalkboard with white writing on it. I have the impression that I was trying to come up with a t-shirt or bumper sticker slogan. All it says is "Watching your child being born is like looking up a unicorn's ass to see where the magic comes from." Then I woke up.
Make of it what you will, but if it's t-shirts or bumper stickers, I get one and a share of the proceeds!
(By the way, I seriously love Google Images. I typed in "unicorn, ass" and that's what came up. Perfect!)
