Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me This Was An Option?!!?

Aww, look! It's a... really creepy robot baby!

Just when you thought it couldn't get weirder... "Japanese researchers created a baby robot designed to simulate the behavior and development of a real infant in an effort to better understand how humans grow up.

Named Noby, short for "nine-month-old baby," it has 600 sensors across its body to feel touch, cameras and microphones fitted into its head for vision and hearing and is hooked up to a powerful computer.
"You can load your software into the robot, watch how it reacts to human actions and its surroundings and compare it with the behavior of real children," Kuniyoshi told AFP Tuesday. "Human beings learn and develop various functions in the process of growing up, but the exact mechanism is yet to be explained," it said."

Damn, if only I had know about this BEFORE we got pregnant!!! My in-laws are even in Japan and could probably even pick one up in some vending machine right next to one selling used school girl panties.

Kidding aside for a brief moment... I (in my admittedly limited knowledge of robot programming) fail to see how a robot baby will "simulate the behavior and development of a real infant in an effort to better understand how humans grow up." I mean, isn't it "garbage in, garbage out?" Don't the programmers have to already have a thorough understanding of the "behavior and development" of a real infant so that they can program this to act like one? Being a robot, isn't it impossible for it to actually "grow up?" Won't people treat it differently than a real baby, because face it, it's like some freakish love child of Chucky and an iMac, and therefor none of the data will have any real meaning at all?

It says it has microphones, but what about speakers so it can burst out crying at inconvenient times, food intake/storage and output areas so it can eat, poop, pee and upchuck non-stop, and thanks to the speakers, let you know when it needs to do any of that at maximum volume? Does it throw a fit for the latest Hello Kitty/Powder Puff Girls toy? Will it point to strangers and/or family members and say embarrassing things about them during a sudden silence in the room? Are some of the robot babies gay? Do its eyes glow red when it gets mad? Why does it look like even all the robot babies are boys? Will it swear in inappropriate situations? If it gets a virus, will you have to give up your opening night opera tickets and sit up all night with it singing obnoxious songs? These are serious, scientific questions that I think need to be answered!



Has ANYONE in Japan EVER watched a horror movie? Because you know this can't end well. I give it six months before they lose funding and wind up selling them to pedophiles as sex toys... and they develop AI and start taking over the world.

Robot Baby article link

OT- What is the deal with my dog?

Not directly pregnancy related, other than the fact that I'm pregnant and wondering about this... but why is it when I go to the bathroom, my dog wants to be in there with me? He will get up out of his comfy bed and follow me upstairs, curl up on the bath mat at my feet, and chill while I'm doing my business. Every time. Sometimes he even wants to get up in my lap. Is this just my weird dog or everyone's?

Why? I mean, it's not like I'm pooping bacon in there, and while it's nothing like a sani-can on a construction site in August in Louisiana, thanks to the "green" low-flush toilet (translation, very little water in the bowl) it's not always a rose garden either. A dog's sense of smell is some hundreds of times stronger than a human's, and I don't want to be in there with me sometimes, so why on earth does he?

He's perfectly content to stay in the other room while I'm sitting on the couch, putting on makeup, doing dishes, taking a bath... but I need to go, ahem, "drop some kids off at the pool" and he's all about it, sitting there keeping me company and cheering me on. Perhaps he's just fascinated by my ability to poop in the house, magically make it disappear AND not get in trouble for it?

Embracing the Belly

So getting pregnant has come at an interesting time for me. Right before I got pregnant I weighed the most I ever had and wasn't too happy about it. I went from under 110 about four years ago to 130 in June. On top of that I wasn't dancing anymore, my main form of exercise, so in addition to being heavier, I'd also lost a lot of muscle tone I was used to having.

This was the first time I'd had to deal with a weight issue in my  life. Usually because I was fairly active and ate reasonably, I'd go up and down a few pounds easily and never cared. I remember when I hit the 110 mark when I was 30 it was a big deal because I finally weighed enough to donate blood!

So, at first I thought it was kinda funny, this little "pooch" I had. Then, when I started to look less than great in some of my clothing, it wasn't so funny, and also wasn't so easy to lose either like it used to be. I got a little self conscious about it, made sure to suck in my gut during photos and the like. I also didn't like how out of shape I had become and how low my endurance was. I had to watch what I wore or risk being one of "those girls" I'd made fun of with the tight low rise jeans and high rise tops and a bakery item in between. Many might say it would serve me right, and I'd probably have to agree.


Then, thanks to the wonders of constant morning sickness and nausea, I lost 13 lbs. Yea! I was relatively skinny again! All those low rise jeans looked good on me again and my face was noticeably more slender. Of course the irony was that I was now too exhausted and sick to really care, plus I lacked the energy or interest in getting dressed up to go out and wear my skinny clothes again... pj's were the wardrobe of choice for me and they all had an elastic waist that didn't matter if I gained or lost 20 pounds.

Now, at 17 weeks pregnant, I've got a belly. Not a pooch or a gut, but a belly. My waist size is now equal to my bra size and I'm loving it! I've gone from hiding my stomach to highlighting it with form fitting tops and sweaters. I think it's just big and "basketball" shaped (round and out front instead of wide and all over) enough to be obvious that I'm pregnant and not fat. But you know, even if someone does mistake me for being fat, I don't care because I know the truth.

It's a very liberating feeling, wanting to show off something that I was hiding not too long ago. This new found love I've got for the changing shape of my body is comforting and I'm enjoying it. There are so many other things about being pregnant that I haven't enjoyed, and this has come as a nice surprise. It helps a lot that my husband also loves my belly and is constantly telling me how sexy he thinks I am. I'm also fairly confidant that I will lose all the weight once I give birth... eventually. I probably won't be as happy with the post baby body as I am with the pre, but I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I wish that all women could feel as happy and confident with their body as I do right now. Of course being slender and pregnant is different from being fat and not pregnant, but I still think it's an empowering experience and feeling to have.

I know I will look back on this post in a few short months when I'm waddling around the house trying to find a pair of shoes I can slip on because I can't reach my feet to tie anything, and finding things that will stretch over my much bigger belly will be a constant battle... and I will laugh, and it will make me pee my pants a little, and I'll have to heave my bulk off the couch to go to the bathroom. Until then, I'll enjoy it while I can.

I Blame Men! (This post probably falls into TMI territory)

I'm pretty sure Martha Stewart demo'd how to make these last week.

There is no way a woman would let this design fly. It had to be a man.

So, I woke up this morning with a rash. A PAINFUL rash. On my bajango. What the hell? I called my midwife, and first question she asks me is "Are you wearing panty liners, and are the Always brand?" Why yes, and yes. Every day. What could be the problem? I mean, I'm sure that nobody would be idiotic enough to create a product that would go on such a sensitive area that would be harmful to said area, would they?!!? Oh ye of little faith in the power of corporate greed!

It turns out that, yes, in fact they would! Apparently Always brand panty liners are treated with some chemical and covered in synthetic sandpaper (it feels like) that is known to do this. Seriously, WTF?!!? That is just EVIL. You don't hear of condoms or jock straps that, oops, yeah, turns out they make your weenie break out in hives and shrink an inch. Fat chance.

Anyway, now my wonderful, loving husband is going to stop by the store and get me some non-toxic/non-abrasive liners to replace them. I told him to go to Whole Foods/PCC and get the most hippie looking all- natural, 100% virgin cotton ones he can find. As long as they are disposable. I'm NOT washing the damn things.

Where's My Glow, Goddamnit!

Alrighty, I'm now 16 weeks. Still battling nausea (but it's better), still not much of an appetite either. Belly's getting bigger, about 33" around now. My nails are growing like crazy, but my hair kinda looks like crap and my skin is dry and I am certainly NOT glowing. However, I count myself lucky. I haven't put on a ton of weight (down a net 10 still), no hemorrhoids (though I understand there's still plenty of time for that fun to show up), not super moody (still only in dreams), no bizarre cravings for chalk or dirt (pica, it happens), no insomnia, leg cramps, heart burn, stretch marks, giant painful ta-tas, skin tags, lactose intolerance, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia or melasma (pregnancy mask)... yet.  All not totally unheard of side effects of pregnancy. So it could be worse.

I also have a long way to go before I'm first chair and will be playing solos in the butt-trumpet section in this household (I'll let you wonder if my husband or dog is current master of that instrument), but I can (and do) belch like a truck driver. I don't know why, it's like I'm full of air (some would say hot air). Sometimes I think it's not a baby bump but a giant air bubble instead.

Twenty seven days until we find out if we'll be stuck with a lot of ugly baby stuff in pink or blue. Day before my husband's 40th birthday... will he get a penis or a vagina? Leaning towards the latter, but we'll see. Looking forward to that, it'll be cool to start identifying with Spawn more once we know the gender.

Next blog: Why is most baby stuff so goddamn ugly? They couldn't care less if their bouncy seat has Elmo or rainbow fish or teddy bears on it, and grown adults would never buy a piece of furniture for themselves with that crap on it, so why do we get it for our babies? Who decided that crap was appropriate? Ugh.